and the Fear of not being a Hero

I am constantly conserned about not being a consitant person. I am scared that I might not have one sigular character to point to and say, "yes! that's me!" Part of me would love to be a person who is sure of who they are, confident in what they do, and can protect themself and others when the world is in the way. Someone who has good based opinions on how the world works!

Hideo is scitsafrentic. In order to enter a dark room to turn on the light, he does a dance. In order to feel confident about himself, he says, "I am a hero." Although he says this it never realy feels like he could be the hero. His glorious costume changes are lost in the crouds of people in the streets. His manga never seams to have that hero/protagonist character. His editor tells him, "...But an interesting manga, you see... Well, it comes from a person who's led an interesting life, doesn't it...?" Hideo is afraid of not having an interesting life. He doesn't stand out. He's just like everyone else.

Hideo ->
"This isn't fucking funny!!!"
"We all have the hidden potential to be HUGE!!"
"If we only sell one million copies of one volume, that's 500 million yen! 500 million!"
"You goddawn fucking bitches!"
"You won't be looking downon us for much longer! When you get old, it's all gonna flip around! You know that, huh? Idiots!"
Firend ->
"You... you need to lower your voice."
Other Firend ->
"Hideo you're makin' me depressed. Stop it."
"He drank alot huh? I wonder if somthing triggered this?"
"Anyway it's his fault all the ladies left..."
Another Firend ->
"I didn;t realize Hideo could act like this."
Hideo ->
"ACT?! I'm not fucking acting!!"
"I'm just a bit character, so i only create bit characters!!"
"Learn from you?! How high up are YOU, anyway?! Where are you looking down from, huh?!"
"I don't need you showing me your ex-boyfriend's drafts! It was only for half a year, but I had a real goddamn weekly serial!!"
Other Friend ->
"what's he goin' off about?"
Anothrer Friend ->
"Dunno..."
Hideo ->
"Am i supposed to just play the foil to Tekko and Nakata?!"
"Damn i--"
"I don't need to be the hero, but I'd at least like be the main character in my own life."