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Pycedelics
{cannabinoids|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabinoid}
records
2025-09-01
didn't take this all at once, inistally started with 25mg CBD and 5mg THC. biked from work to go hang with a friend at a natral area. the ride was nice if not a bit hot, that area allong the river always looks really nice, good place to let you mind wander and think about whats happening in life, a good place to find sweet little adventyres and locations. we meet up and we talk for a bit, he had some hours before needing to get back to school, bro has booked himself like crazy, full time student + 25 of work a week, bro has no free time anymore, if its a day off, its a day for homework. the natrual area we were in was kinda ass? surounded by privet proporty in a valley, and each of the trails were small half - quarter mile loops. just sat down after a bit and talked like that. after a bit it twast time for us to part our ways, (oh dramama). after somthing like 3hrs still haddn't felt anything. CBD is relaxed, the low dosage dosn't do anything like THC kinda was doing. so i ate another 25mg CBD and 5mg THC.
on the way back came across another way back home, diffrent part of the same bike loop around the city, went down that way. by this time, the sun was in that evening sunset, warm but not hot, the day slowing down before sunset. the trail went through the richer parts of the city, where the high middle class houses lookout onto a nature perserve. found a dirt trail, nice plant life, a cool ditch. a large water tower, low to the ground. an overwhelming feeling of outside perspective. all the houses, all the systems, they were diffrent back in the day, people doing this doing that, all caght up in the game logic of what modern life is. green kuntuky blue grass. high end technoligy. arobics dance class, under the sun of a newly construncted basketball cort. new suburbia looms in the distance. disturbed landscape. a trail wantering through a highly mantained neiborhood creek trail. its cozy. a dream. the kind you feel sad about leaving when you wake up. the sun is lower, riding down an excevated dirtmound. i'm back home at the house.
biking back gave time to think about what do to. time to cook some tofu, ramen noodles, a carot, and then somthing new. cottage cheese, currents, and wallnuts with fresh brocoli. as i waited for it all to cook i decided to take more, 25mg CBD, 5mg THC. my body had been feeling... not tired, but dreamy. keep going back to a location to do the thing before. the thing before the other. finished cooking everything and went downstairs to play Opus Magnum. read the text and story, apreciate the setting, the role play. eating the tasty bits between thinking about the puzzle. forgetting ideas for what to do, working on what was in front of me. wanted to take a shower and hang in the bed.
this was the point at which stuff goes crazy :) imagine living a dream. the one where you see you the character moving and doing. there is no thinking about what to do. just do. the hyper cyclical "what do i do" was a step removed this time. my skin felt soft. all motions of the body where put through a lowpass filter. taking food bowls upstairs, cleaning up the food. the actions were performed normaly if not slowly and carfuly with intent. the food was put away. down the stairs again. the past was a fuzy place, actions done were actions happening. what actions were done? its when in a dream, you remeber thinking "huh! when did i get here :)" walking back through time. grabed the last two bowls. the movment of the arms is endlessly facinating. light and feathery. without gravity. watcing the dream, oh some ones home, wouldn't really want them to notice me :) we'll just leave these down here. shower time! :D take off cloths, turn on shower, the ground an walls arn't as parallel as they usually are, sloped and angled, like a child drawing. cozy and heart warming. smiling moving my body because i want to, hnaging fronm the shower dorr from my arms, swinging one leg, the kenetics of the situation where, POTETNT. so happy it makes me want ro squeeeeee :))))) felt so happy to be inside a body. motion was apreciated more than anything. did a lill swinging slide dance while we cleaned myself in the shower. all moments where now. the memory mechinism, was dreaming the past, and the body was experencing the current moment. all actions completed exited the shower, dryed the shower with the towel and put on sleeping cloths. back and forth between locations, redescovering what i was doing, why i had walked there, tooth brush, should brush the teeth, sleep, unroll the bed, movethe room objects around for there placmensts. i had been thinking about what to "computer" before i went to sleep. eventally laned on these videos and music from TECHDOG 7. the waking world smeared into the dream sleep world. the memory machine slowly, slowly faded, and the dreams continued through the night.
the ablity for to act was still very intact, was able to manipulate the computer, linux, rember where a put a book we wanted to look at was. somthing something. the experience of consiousness, had never been so changed was it was yesterday. was one leans over a video game, a book, and gets lost in that world. the memory machine was lost in the world of the last couple minutes.
we've forgotten what it was like to feel comfortable and happy. remeber this when you feel stressed and overwhelmed.
2025-08-02
these small dosages are strange. very liminal and unoticable. simular to the altered state of eating food and feeling diffrent afterward.
ro last minute a friend was like, "yo ya wana go see a metior shower?" twas a yeah sure? XD spur of the moment. got to hang out with two firends under the sky as we just kinda spaced out and talked at the sky. i was sleepy and my brain was runnin on that half aware word mouth action. goofin around action in the moment. brain was slow enough that it couldn't uncreate the creature in the outhouse. a fern like tree, dark mysterious and swishy, a bent creature. "my brain can't get rid of the creature in the toilet." the cliff looked like a tall wid erobot. we talked about dreams. and the stars. where the shooting stars where and stuff. at this point it was 2am. luckily, the friend driving us back, was used to staying up this late and did not take any mind alterents. the trip back was a lucid visual dream. time felt like it past more dencly while the eyes where closed. the chair felt soft and exponetially more comfortable. skin a warm blanket. we played slow music. the visuals were amorfus and textured, located in a center square of the visual spacial imagination. felt simular to playing 0n0w? no, not quite. >:| hmmm. a space where the mind was free to focus on one thing: the lucid sleep state before deep slumber.
2025-05-..
Went on a hike with with good friend, right before I took half of a 10mg THC gummy, so 5mg. It was hard to tell when it had kicked in. Its the slight strain from a hike. The diffrence of being with someone in a new and pretty situation. The greenery was beutiful. The whole time was super pycologically self observing. Hard to tell what was the drug and what was me being minful of the situation. Remember fealing some kind of sleepyness, or body teird, it was a hike after all, very steap to. The first experiencal change that might have been the drug was a widening of the point of focus in the vision. Usually my point of visual focus is small, there is more periferal vision. Remeber seeing a plant, I could see all of it at once if that makes sence. We had a awsome conversation. Bro was talking about the ideas from Karl Yung for male and female energys. Bro postulated that these ideas are experetions of fundemental energies to the univerce. I still think they're just labels for simular sets of behaviors. Bro thinks of transness as being a combination of these two energies, it makes sence to em in that way. Tried to show the grey areas of the two "fundemental" forms. What exsactly is masculine? Is it violence? "Protection?" "Logic?" (huh?) What is feminine? Love, emotion? why is feminine not logic or the other side of logic. Just emotion? If anything anger is more ilogical emotion and love is a logic of understanding and truth. Arn't we just getting that idea from what we've been told? The problem is calling these two ideas you've come up with to fundemental sides to a coin. It does not allow us to see them as a changing system. This is how it is nd how it will be. Just consider the diffrnce between chimps and bonobos. They are our closest relatives yet share diffrent scopes of emotion and societal function. There's nothing fundemental about this. If these ideas change over time than they are not experesions of some unchanging thing, they are just relational observations between various ideas. They are experetions of patern observation. Anyways. The main thing felt was a warm sence of "being present". We had gone on other hikes before and remember feeling more thoughts coming from far away, from the city, the people and situations over there. Now felt more focused of my suroundings, the physicality of the trees and the traill. The clouds came in and out, beams of sun and places of cool shade. It was easier to mentalize. Could have just been the situation, a safe situation with a friend.